So my readings have been on the stabby side lately

So my personal readings have been a little stabby lately. Every deck has been giving me swords. For every question. 

Life direction? Swords 

Lockdown/immigration questions? Swords

Takeout or leftovers? Swords

The future of anything? Swords plus Death. 

I even pulled out my cheerful, chipper Hallowe’en Tarot because it’s cute and happy. Swords, Death, Tower. Thanks Hallowe’en Tarot, thanks. Good to know I can count on you. 

*cries quietly in the corner* 

Today, ten minutes ago, I was feeling brave. I pulled out my Crow Tarot, so far the bitchiest of my card collection, and asked, “OK Tarot, why so damned stabby? Where am I and what’s weighing me down?” 

The Ace of Pentacles covered by the 9 of Pentacles. 

Well at least they’re not swords. 

It was a forehead slapping moment. The Ace of Pentacles shows a new beginning, of course. I’m turning over a new leaf in this pandemic world and investing in myself. Abundance training, new blog, putting myself out there, hunting for work. It’s all so fabulous. So where’s the problem? 

The fuckening comes in the 9 of Pentacles. At its best, this card is about independence, the accumulation of wealth, standing on one’s own, being resourceful – all good things. So how can those things be bad? 

Well, it hasn’t escaped me that I’m back in the cycle looking for work. Except now it’s at a time where everyone else is, too. 9s are endings. The 9 has accumulated the knowledge of the cycle it’s in and integrated everything. It’s gone as far as it can go. And there’s the heaviness weighing on me. I’ve already been told I’m “overqualified “.

Gah, Tarot, you bitch!!! Why do you have to be right? 

I don’t have anything else really to say on this because my reading wasn’t solution oriented. I just wanted to know which of the shitty things in life was putting the most weight on me and causing my readings to be so stabbity stabby. 

Because I enjoy pressing the red button, I flipped the deck over to see the card on the bottom. This card usually gives me a pretty good idea of the underlying influences. 

The 9 of Wands. Another 9. Again, more integration of lessons, more being done with shit. There is resilience in the 9 of Wands. There is being ready for whatever shit show comes flying out of left field because when this card makes an appearance you’ve seen it all. 

Have you ever seen the image of the treasure hunter digging and you, the viewer, can see that he’s two or three shovelfuls of dirt away from his treasure, but he’s just about ready to quit? Like, his garden of fucks is completely derelict. He just wants to sit down and be done with it. That’s this card. So on the one hand, I find it heartening to know that I’m *this close* to success, but DAMN I don’t want to do any more digging. I’m so done with everything that’s happened with my wife and I this year. 


I crossed the 9 of Wands. I have been talking to the owner of a very busy spa. I went in for a training session and I’m in! I came home with the Book of Secrets 😁 They do things I don’t do, so there is something new to learn. 


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