Yesterday I had ALL THE ENERGY. My waxing clients got their fastest! Brazilians! ever! Was it because of that sweeping Pluto energy? I don’t know. All I can tell you is that at about 7:30 am I could. not. sit. still. I was bouncy castle hyper all day and night.
Today is a whole different thing. I’m slow, I arted most of the day, and I spent the late afternoon crying and feeling like a failure while I cleaned the fridge. I don’t remember what I was like when Pluto slid into Capricorn in 2008, although I did lose my teaching position a few days later. That’s when I started blogging about crochet socks. It bounced back into Sagittarius when my unemployment ran out and I had to look for work and stop blogging. When it bounced back into Capricorn I got bullied at Ravelry and stopped blogging/designing for a long time
In the last 24 hours I have changed the domain and identity of this blog, started hating numerology, and I’ve been thinking about crochet and art again. I am making myself SIT STILL on things. All of this feeling awful may well pass and I might find myself happily numerologizing next week. Or I’ll be crocheting socks. Who knows. Im not a fan of the beginning of Pluto transits. When Pluto entered Sagittarius I dropped out of university and started working at the hospital in Halifax. When Pluto entered Scorpio I probably had to be in bed by 8 pm so I doubt there was much craziness for me then.
*Checks google*
That’s when I started running away as a teenager. Never mind.
All the astrologers on social media are talking about how great this is for Capricorn placements. Well, I am Capricorn rising, Moon, and Jupiter so let’s hope I get a break because since the lockdowns started all I’ve felt like is wrong and a complete failure. Nothing I do is successful and everything feels so hard.
Which would be why I was blowing snot bubbles while I cleaned the fridge this afternoon.
In other, less teary news, I got a Clapper account. I changed my name there, too, which was a stupid thing to do because I can’t change it back until three months have passed. So I’m there as nicolecormier not thenumerologylady. I like it there. I’m not “blowing up” like other Tiktok refugees but I do like my fyp a whole lot better.
For the last two years in spite of my best efforts to change my feed, I was fed a steady diet of virtue-signaling white savior Wiccans who were policing every woman they ran across and sending out their flying monkeys whilst simultaneously being mental illness warriors and pronoun activists. I get anxiety looking at the damned icon on my phone screen. Which is fine because unlike a lot of the people I met on TikTok, I have not been successful. After three years I have less than 3000 followers, 300 or fewer views for most of my videos, very little engagement, and certainly no income generated by showing up every day and trying to be an engaging, intelligent numerologist. For the last six months I’ve really had to drag myself in there.
My Clapper feed, by stark contrast, is normal adults doing normal adult things. No one is screaming at anyone and people seem to be getting along in spite of – GASP – their disagreements. I love the morning coffee radios. I’m feeling brave and I might host one in the near future. I’m not getting the views there, either, though, so I’m really starting to question if social media is the right way forward for me as a numerologist. Whatever it is that other people have that gets them noticed on these platforms, I don’t have it and trying to fake it til I make it just makes me feel worse.
That’s all I got for now. Everyone let shit unfold and be excellent to each other.
